Identity and Purpose

Identity has always confused and perplexed me - in fact, I don't actually have one. I have no doubt whatsoever that some conventional psychiatric framework would, however, diagnose and label me in some neat fashion.

Psychoanalyse this!
I have, for as long as I remember, felt divorced from the people around me, and from the world in general, of which I should be expected to be a part. I can go even further, I have never felt any connection with the person I appear to be. Yes, I have a physical shell which, for the most part, maintains a fairly stable form. But inside I am a perpetually shifting and reshaping energy with no individuality. But I do have an empathic connection with others of my kind.

I was into my 20s before I began to realise that I was here to 'do something', but I had absolutely no idea what it might be. I think my first and obvious assumption was that it was something to do with God, maybe a calling? But even though I looked into the Church for an answer, I felt that same persistent alienation. It was in 1978 that I met a woman who became a very close friend, this was Shelagh, a clairvoyant medium with an astonishing history of accuracy. A woman who was going to change my life completely.

Within a few months of knowing her she told me about a missing time incident she had experienced some years earlier. It was after I convinced her to see a friend who was a qualified hypnotherapist, that she recalled an astonishing tale of abduction and medical procedure buried in her memories. Only a few days after all these memories were unlocked, she started seeing a native American spirit guide next to me, a very tall and powerfully-built figure with a long head-dress. Having worked within Spiritualism she was familiar with how Red Indian guides seem to predominate, and her reaction was Oh not another one! 
She asked him mentally who he was and the Indian pointed at me and put into her mind that he was with me.
'Red Eagle' was to feature heavily in my future, in shaping my inner fluidity into something stable and consistent.

Most nights when my body sleeps is when I become my most active. I almost always leave the body and assume the form I am more comfortable in. I almost always retain a very clear memory of where I go and who I see and speak to. The single consistency is the 'road' I follow coming home to my body. I always see this as a winding country road with low hedges to either side and corn fields stretching on either side to the horizon. Even as I walk along this narrow road, I am conscious that I am returning to Earth.

Curiously, since mid-2012 I have been making regular nightly contact with people I have friended on Facebook. I had a personal account in 2009 but abandoned it for no particular reason, and then in late 2011 I felt a very strong urge to return to it, as 2012 came around there was an increasing urgency that I could not identify. I even went out of my way to reconnect with a man who I had lost contact with in 1993! This was Clive Potter, a man who had worked with me and Shelagh in those early days. I was unsure why, but there was an increasing urgency to reconnect.

I had reasons at the time to hold back from making contact, but with some encouragement from another friend of Clive's, I decided I needed to. But what I did the night before was to World-walk, as I term it, and speak to him in his sleep-state and seed him with information I require him to know as a precursor to reconnection. When I told him and showed him what I needed to, his astral bodies visibly shuddered under the impact of this knowledge. But at that point, as I walked back along the country road, I knew he would be very understanding.

This is how I work. I put information and understanding into selected individuals at a subconscious level. I guess it is like auto-suggestion programs that you listen to in your sleep, except I do it out of the body when they are at an equally lucid level and receptive. This information is then brought back to their subconscious where it incubates until it seeps through the conscious awareness.