Things become a little scrappy here and I may not have things as precise as they probably were. I think into 1993 I had written one of my very lengthy letters to Clive, we had a thriving rotation of letters between us, each packaging regularly containing between 10-15 typed pages. I always looked forward to receiving them. I think it was 2 or 3 months after The Shadow Of Man was produced that the next quite disturbing element crashed into our lives.
I was at home, this time Shelagh was at the shops when there was a knock at the door. I am not sure what I had been doing. I know I was upstairs in what I referred to as my study. A spare room lined wall to wall with books, vast numbers on the occult and UFOs, all racked on nice sturdy metal shelves. I went downstairs and opened the door. A man in a suit was standing there, he had a smile on his face and looked rather pleased to see me.
Only looking back after the event did I realise it was very similar or the same as the stranger Shelagh had opened the door to a few years previous. What I remember is that standing there, looking at him, there was a sense of familiarity, like I should know him, or had seen him before. It seems ridiculous to say that because he was exactly the same as the man who had visited her. I am not aware of background distortion. But he did ask if he could 'pop in for a little chat'. I seemed to have no caution, or even ask who he was, I just opened the door and said 'of course, would you like to come in?'
He led the way, like he knew where the sitting room was and he sat on the couch, putting a briefcase on the floor next to him. I didn't sit down, I stood in the middle of the room just looking at him. How did I feel? I had question marks buzzing round in my head, things like who are you? What do you want? Why am I a threat to you? These questions went through my head but just seemed to buzz around in there, like confused insects, the thoughts never found their way to my mouth.
He then said:
'You really shouldn't be involving other people in all this nonsense you are doing - and it is nonsense, yes?'
I suddenly felt like a naughty child standing before a headmaster or parent, being chastised for some disobedience. I wanted to tell him I was just doing what I knew I had to do, that I had work to do and I had to prepare for it.
The man continued:
'We are going to have to stop the contagion you are spreading. I suggest you isolate yourself from those you have infected before things get worse than you have already made them.'
I was, for the first time ever, very frightened of what he was saying, the tone was monotonous, it didn't carry any feeling and the entire episode was like I was in a dream, listening to someone who themselves were in a dream. I felt like I was both there in the room and somewhere else. It was the most disorientating sense of bi-location I have ever had. Again, looking back now, I don't think I was entirely in my body. Either this man had hypnotically induced me, or my other self had stepped out of the body for some reason while my physical was locked onto this man.
That is the best I can explain it. I did feel he was delivering a threat to me and those around me. That seemed quite clear.
Then, it was like I snapped out of a sleep-state as he rose to his feet and snatched up his briefcase, it was like a sudden thought of oh I must not forget to take this, the action seemed very fast and almost last moment. But I stepped back from him. I had a headache. Still smiling, which he had done all the way through this meeting, he said. 'I can see myself out.'
He left. I heard the front-door close. Strange thing is I didn't go to the door and see where he went, as Shelagh had tried during her visit. I went to the kitchen and had a big glass of water. my throat was as dry as a bone. From there I went and sat in a chair, in the sitting room. I am not sure what I felt. I think I felt numb and just starred at the wall till Shelagh got home.
She was very perceptive and very little ever escaped her, she came into the room, put down her shopping and said, 'What's wrong? What's happened?
'I have to stop my work, whatever it was leading to has to end otherwise people will die.'
I do not know what made me say that, because the MIB never made any outright death threats, but I just felt at that instant when I spoke to her, that was what this could lead to.
I felt a bit sick ...
No comments:
Post a Comment