The years 1984 and 1985 were a particularly unsettling one for shelagh. Her husbands drinking was reaching all time levels of inebriation. This was particularly bad for her on Saturday evenings when he would go out around 7pm to his 'club', then be home any time between 11pm and midnight. Shelagh would always be in her room by 10pm and even locked the door in fear of his drunken state. Then one morning she simply said to me. 'I have had enough, I need to leave him but don't know what I should do.' I helped her ponder this for a few days.
Since having seen the dimensional wormhole in my bedroom, a couple of months previously, (something I always refer to as the Evil Void Singularity, 'evil' because of the sense of complete and total alien evil I sensed that lay beyond it, 'void' because I sensed absolutely nothing from it, like it opened to a complete vacuum, and 'singularity' because it had an attractive pull as a black-hole might. I had felt that if I got too close to it I would have been urged, beyond my resistance to enter it, never able to return.) I had been on many journeys with Red Eagle. Sometimes I would go to alien planets very far from Earth, but more times than not I would be exploring, and be educated on the multitude of dimensions that mesh with the physical earth. With this travelling I found I was returning with more clarity of what I experienced and witnessed.
Come 1985 and I was becoming very aware of thought-form constructs, how powerful they could be and what uses they could be put to. I was shown the astral ocean in which the thoughts and whims of humanity create corresponding thought-forms. some of them lasting for months or years, often attaching themselves to the creator in order to feed and prolong their artificial life. Others were as a soap-bubble. Appearing spontaneously in response to jealousy or spite, but just as quickly popping and dropping back into this seething ocean. Of course, I was fully aware this ocean didn't actually exist in the form I was seeing it. This was a metaphorical creation so that I could absorb and understand the scope and magnitude.
A psychic link was made to this lower astral plane, looking back now I am certain this is what happened, just as threads and links were woven between me and other dimensions that Red Eagle took me to. He wasn't an entity with Tour Guide sewn on a hat, everything he did and places he took me were for a reason. So that is why I believe I was taken to the lowest and crudest destination of human collective thought. I have no doubt that if everyone could be taken here and shown the consequences of their thoughts and deeds, there would be a big change in attitude towards each other and this planet. I had seem an intense symbiotic relationship that has consequences.
It was following this experience that I was taught to create thought-forms, or tulpas as I prefer to call them, this is a term I believe is used by Buddhist occultists for the servitors they can create. During my experiments with them. I created a kindred grey which I called Tepichooch. For this initial experiment in tulpa engineering I used Shelagh as a backup psychic power-source and for it's creation we both contributed in equal amounts. Tepichooch was kept in existence for three weeks before we slowly broke it down to energy once again. But an interesting thing happened before we did. When Tepichooch was being built we were at the same time programming it and it was forbidden to leave the spare room which Shelagh used as her wiccan temple. So no one ever went into it except her and me. One Saturday afternoon, Julian came into the house after spending time with some friends, and he told us that one of his mates had glanced up at the house with a sensation of being watched, he then reported seeing a grey bald, black-eyed character watching him for a moment before vanishing. I was rather pleased with the manifestation having been seen.
My second, and slightly longer lasting, was a raven. I slowly created the large black bird by myself. I didn't want any of Shelagh involved in this because I wanted to see if I could use it as a magical implement. I have to say that so much of this was random experimental, some might even say dangerous, but ever since having had contact with the elemental sea, I just seemed to know what to do, how to do it and the precautions that were needed. I called the raven Freydoch. A name and sense of individual identity is crucial from the outset.
When I had created Freydoch and brought it to maturity, (I took almost 2 months to create each of the tulpas, going through accelerated stages of birth and maturing.) I decided I was going to use the bird to travel. The reason I had made this my own creation and put so much of myself into it's programming is because I wanted to use it as an implement for remote viewing.
I was marginally successful. I laid on the bed and entered a fairly deep state of mediation. Fredoch was perched on the shelf I had programmed it to think of as home. By now I could step out of the physical shell easily enough, and di so on this occasion. I wasn't sure now how I should merge my form with the tulpa, but then I had a moment of inspiration and knew I could enter through the eyes. I looked at it, stared hard and concentrated on it's eyes. Then with no sense of movement I was 'inside' it, or at least, I had the sensation of looking out through it's eyes.
It was a strange sensation that I still find difficult to describe. I thought I would flap wings and fly, but that didn't happen. For instance, I looked at a sideboard on the other side of the room, willed myself there and suddenly was there. I didn't sense or see anything in between. I decided to end the experiment there and then, quite likely I would have mastered this very unusual situation had I spent some weeks and persevered with it. But all I had set out to do was transferring my awareness into an artificial construct. I had achieved it.
From that day to this, my pagan name has been Raven, in tribute to this achievement.
by now things had got intolerable for Shelagh, as age had simply made her husband increasingly a nightmare to live with. She had so many possessions accumulated over the years, (most from rummage sales, but still her treasure trove.) But things had reached such a stage she was willing to make the sacrifice. She gazed at me, tears in her eyes and asked 'what should I do?'
I looked at her, knowing she relied on me totally at this moment. I looked at her and said simply 'Just pack a bag, walk out of here and trust Red Eagle. My father will provide.'
I had come to see Red Eagle as more than a spirit guide. He had created and educated me. I had been lost in this life until he took me in hand and showed me the truth of the worlds around us, and how to walk through them. I had discovered I was more than I knew, or the world saw. And remember, this was pre-internet days and so far as I knew, I was the only one of my kind on this world. It was a very isolated existence and so I eagerly accepted Red Eagle as my father, especially as by now we knew this native American image was not really him. It was an image he presented to the world, so any clairvoyant would see a bog-standard Red Indian guide.
Shelagh decided to trust me as much as I trusted Red Eagle, and within days we had packed some bags and stepped out of the front door while he was at work. Julian had decided to stay at home, he didn't fear his drunken father, plus, in his inebriated state, he often through £10 and £20 notes at the boy. Shelagh and I started walking down the road and her first obvious questions was 'so where do we sleep tonight?' I smiled, looking as confident as I felt and said. 'He will find somewhere.'
As it happens we did find a room for the night, then a room the night after that. We eventually found our way into the hands of one of the many unscrupulous private landlords of the 80s. They rented a number of houses and then charged a fortune from the DSS for the unfortunates they packed into these houses. We were lucky in that we found ourselves in a couple of reasonably decent properties over the next few months.
Here my story catches up to transformations one and two that were related at the start of this blog, they happened while we were in the second property, having been suddenly shifted by the landlord without warning one day. That first transformation came when Shelagh was at a particularly low ebb. She lay in bed and gazed at me as the facial transformation happened. I have no idea what the entity said to her, but it seemed to be empowering and gave her something new to hold on to.
The second transformation that happened in this house was my almost fully formed shape-shift. But the problems with the air around my made this attempt abortive. I feel that there would have been more had I not got 'stuck' in the thick syrupy atmosphere.
Over the winter of 1985-86 one of the girls working in the office of this landlord told us that she was leaving her flat and that if we wanted somewhere decent to live she could put our name forward. We thought this was a great offer, and opportunity to escape the unscrupulous landlord system. We went with her to look at the ground-floor flat and immediately decided we would have it. As we left, Shelagh said 'Red Eagle is talking to me, he says we need this house, not just the flat, but the whole house in order to do the work, and for the guests you will have.'
At this point I wasn't sure what that meant, anyway, although the house was divided into two flats, the upper one was still occupied. nevertheless, neither of us ever doubted what he told us. by March 1986 we were installed in our new, and reasonably priced flat. Everything had come good. I had promised Shelagh that by walking out of her home and laying herself at the destiny Red Eagle was creating for us, she would be fine, and she was. He had said we would have this property for our work and guests, again, he was right. two months later the occupants of the other flat handed in their notice and left. we applied for and quickly got the upper flat too.
we was only in the house five months before shelagh had her confrontation with a Man In Black - he obviously took Red Eagle's plans seriously too ...
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